Wallahi, Iman! It's Not Me!

I can't turn down a good mystery. Not after spending my childhood with Nancy Drew, Jessica Fletcher, Scooby, and The Gang. It's miraculous that I haven't wrapped by baby Buick to look like the Mystery Machine. Unfortunately though, a good mystery has been proving itself difficult to come by. Meddling isn't quite what it used to be. There are cameras everywhere, people don't give information to strangers, and every time I post on Reddit about the few non-fatal local mysteries, ten basement dwellers come to call me dumb for caring. Like...hello Jersey City! Who is going to figure out who that one guy that's "in the screen writers guild" that's harassing people on the PATH is if we can't cough up some clues on Reddit? All that's to say, mystery solving is not what I imagined it would be when I was a child. The only real mysteries I get to work on are the mysteries on social media. Specifically, getting to the bottom of who my cyber stalkers are...

You may remember when I with 98% certainty deciphered $@719's TikTok account in the summer of 2023. If you don't remember, it'll be in book 3. That was the most excitement my mystery loving mind had had in months. It enthralled me! The patterns! Tracking the views per day and time correlations between his view's and Curly's. The confrontations! The DRAMA! How is miss it sometimes. It went on for over a year, then it stopped. Oddly enough and in true fashion with anything having to do with that freak of nature, it stopped the same day I worked a princess party that happened to be across the street from his parent's house 🙈🙈. I still wonder if he somehow saw me. The day I dove into the trunk of my baby Buick to avoid his father seeing me changing out of my Barbie costume outside of his house. At least it ended it with a bang?

I have other stalkers always though. He was just the most stimulating. He really is so similar to me. Jerome, that guy I met once in Harlem in 2021, Parker, my cousin, and two accounts that are "from my contacts" that I'm struggling to pull the mask off of. One of them, I thought I'd figured out. I thought it was Hamoodi. Not that he's ever stalking me. It wouldn't be stalking if it were him. However, he claims to not have social media (proper man uno), so it would be a secret account. I thought it was him because it shared the same WhatsApp photo of the Eiffel Tower that Hamoodi has. When I told him that, Hamoodi looked at me like I am a silly girl then said "Iman, you think I'm the only person that's been to the Eiffel Tour?" I accused him of deflecting and he said "Wallahi, Iman. It's not me". Hamoodi is very serious about his "Wallahi" so, I accepted it. He took my acceptance as a sort of defeat and decided that would be a good time to clown me. "You want me to make an account to look at your Tik Toks? Hm, Iman?" He teased me in his unserious all hell North London accent. I gave up after that on accord of being embarrassed. Though...I'm starting to wonder. I inspected the pictures side me side. They're like honestly the same picture. Maybe both of them just looked up the picture. Odd behavior of that's the case.

The username on that account is "psyboi01". Searches for "psy boi" on Google only pulled up a song I've never heard of by a band I've never heard of. The "01" is likely the year the person was born. So, they're either 23 or 24. The only person I know that age, off the top of my head, is my cousin Aneesha. I blocked all accounts for her though because her older sister has a long history of being an 'op. So, it shouldn't be here since the account is reflecting as "from my contacts". Also, with a name like "psyboi" I have to assume it's a boy. Psy could mean psychology. Psychology major? Enthusiast? I don't know. This is a minor mystery though. It's not very stimulating, but I'm very bored and desperate for stimulation. Psyboi, if you're seeing this, reveal yourself