The Weirdest Rumor About Me Ever

I've thought about writing this down for so long and in so many ways...yet I don't know how to begin. I only really write objectively negative things about my experiences with men. I don't often think negatively or write negatively about women, so it's foreign to me to do so. However, I feel so inclined to share my thoughts on my experience with this woman. In my last book, she is written under the name Kafia. So, I'll continue use of that name. As is true of everyone in my blogs and books except for my closest friends, her name has been changed for her privacy. I met Kafia through an ex that I befriended. We were at first fast friends. She is very different from anyone I know. I am an artist, my friends are artists, Kafia is a lawyer. I at first attributed the differences between us to that. Which is how things got as far as they did despite the first red flag.

🚩 #1

"I'm phasing **** out and I don't know how they didn't notice! Like are they stupid?" She blurted out as we left Jummah. "Phasing ****out" I repeated in my head. What an odd thing to say. When I hears this at first, I just attributed my negative reaction to it to being autistic and existing in creative spaces. I'd never really interacted with neurotypicals before knowing Kafia, so I was willing to excuse it as something neurotypicals do because of their emotion focused minds and poor impulse control. My mother always reminds me to have patience for them because God gifted me a more capable mind and he didn't do the same for them. However, a few months later, other neurotypicals I met through Kafia informed me that this behavior was actually abnormal. They taught me that even the most emotional of neurotypicals do not speak about and to each other in this manner. Once I realized this, I had trouble masking my disappointment in her presence. To me, there is no one worse that a woman who attempts to or succeeds in commuting psychological warfare on her fellow women. Kafia was constantly pitting her female friends against each other, lying about them, hiding her stories from them, muting them, purposely ignoring them, and even attacking their looks. Only 8 months into knowing her, I began receiving calls from other girls trying to connect the dots on the lies and manipulation we were enduring. It felt like a 2000's teen movie, except Regina George was a 30 year old woman. Women in our twenties and thirties have enough of these issues in our love lives. There's no reason for other women to put us through what men do.

🚩#2

"She just texted me for the first time in days" Shul frowned at her phone 17 minutes into our Oyster happy hour. I raised my eyebrows. We looked at each other for few moments before signing and saying in unison "she's stalking our locations". Kafia had gone away for a while at this point. Back to visit her family. She'd become very angry with me when I told her I couldn't make her 30th birthday party because my aunt was having open heart surgery and I needed to stay in Florida to look after her. So, at this point she wasn't talking to me much. With Kafia angry at me, all of her attention was placed on Shul. For weeks, every time Shul and I had our location in the same place, Kafia texted her. If she were a man, I'd say that I fear her poor wife would end up like Julia Robert's in "Sleeping With the Enemy". Before Kafia, I'd never shared my location with a friend. It just wasn't on my radar as something to do. I did know that it was important to neurotypicals though, I read that it makes them feel connected to you and valued. So, I shared it. Kafia used location sharing as a psychological weapon. She unshared her location with people as a punishment. She stalked her friends on it to control them. It was so weird to be honest.

🚩#3

The negging. This one will be short because there isn't much story to it. Kafia would neg every woman she knew. She purposely hung out with beautiful women and negged them constantly. If a guy hit on one of us, she would say something along the lines of "guys only hit on mid girls because they're afraid of beautiful women". She would throw backhanded compliments around left and right. She would tell us our love interests were ugly, but then went as far as to be caught matching with them on Hinge. Crazy work.

Eventually, I tried to quietly remove myself from her radar without commotion and keeping in touch with the friends I'd made while knowing her. This did not go over well with her. She began telling people insane crap about me that she made up. It's been 8 months since I last spoke to her and I'm still hearing from people that she was going around telling people that I'm a "sex addict". I won't dox her, but I will say that one of the first things she told me is that she is wild in the sack and that I need some help to be less repressed. So, do with that what you may. That was the most absurd of the rumors she spread about me. Anyone who's read my work or has talked to me for like 30 minutes knows that I'm a sexually repressed, awkward, eccentric hermit that can hardly figure out how to tell a guy that I've been dating for months that I like him. She would also tell people that I lack decorum. Which was particularly interesting, but it's because I'm like not afraid to be myself. Mostly I just have an eccentric life that results in eccentric stories. I'm not here to defend myself against rumors though, I'm here to highlight the ever growing beast that is women who are desperate for a male partner that in the absence of one, use their female friends as a surrogate. That was Kafia's real issue. She'd not had an actually boyfriend since she was in undergrad and she was struggling to find a man that met her needs. She's not the only person I've encountered like that since. There is a growing demographic of women deciding to instead of having a toxic relationship with their man, have one with their female friends. These women cycle through freiendships the way people cycle through Hinge relationships. They have these like situationship like friendships that last anywhere from 3 months to a year and a half that are whirlwinds. They get insanely close to these people, then they start sabotaging the relationship, then they like blow it up and spread rumors about the girls they were friends with. Some of my peers think women doing this are closeted lesbians, but I don't know about that. I think the most of them are truly just women who find it difficult to interact with men, but want to emotional parts of a relationship, so they push it on other women. I am a misandrist, so when these things are done to men, I see no problem and no crime. Woman on woman crime is unacceptable to me. These toxic girls have got to be quelled. They're ruining the female ecosystem