Stop Calling Your Boyfriend's Mom Your Mother in Law

Words. Mean. Things. Mother in Law is defined as the mother of one’s husband or wife. Meaning someone who legally, in the eyes of the government, became your mother via the legally binding construct of marriage that provides women rights to assets, assistance, and protection from the man they are in a relationship with. Your mother in law is NOT the mother of your long-term, mid commitment boyfriend that doesn't see a reason to provide you the protections you deserve for being in a relationship with him. Calling that man’s mother your “mother in law” is dumb as hell. She knows it too. The amount of unmarried women I've seen hanging out with their boyfriend’s  mother referring to her as their “mother in law” is egregious. I can only theorize what's causing this delusion... I believe it's wishful thinking that, that clown will marry them someday or the absurd “feminist” concept that marriage is a construct that isn't needed to hold men accountable for the things they do to women. Whichever and whatever it is, it's disturbing. Even more disturbing are the women who allow this, the mothers. They know very well that their sons are playing in the faces of these women they string along and will only marry after years of not finding the girl they actually like. I believe that they actually enjoy it. I think they enjoy knowing that some poor, stupid girl is willing to give their son all the benefits of having a wife while not actually taking their son away from them and legally binding him to caring for her. That woman is not your “mother in law” she is your boyfriend’s mom. She is also your opposition if she's not shaming him for doing this to you.

Now that we are on the same page about these women not being your “mother in law”. I think it's a good time to discuss that you also really shouldn't be contributing too much time to her. I'm seeing a lot of doe eyed young women bending over backwards to appeal to the mother of their boyfriend. I see them pouring their time and energy into his family when he hasn't even proposed. More wishful thinking that will lead to confusion and heartbreak should things not go their way. Levels of commitment should be just that, levels. There is a level of commitment that entails getting to know a man’s mother and his family. That commitment is not and shouldn't be a girlfriend. Meeting his parents should be something he does when he's ready to propose in the next few months. Otherwise, what's the point of getting everybody excited? It's rude. We've lost the plot, team. Stop doing this crap. Have some respect for yourself. If your employer asked you to do a job that other people are doing for a better title and more pay without the title or pay, would you do it? I certainly hope not. 

“But love isn't a job”

“It's just a certificate” 

“Titles don’t mean anything” 

If all that were true, A$AP Rocky wouldn't be desperately trying to get his long term girlfriend/ baby mama, Rihanna to be recognized as his spouse by a court. Marriage is an upgraded level of commitment recognized by international law. Stop giving men that would have you left to testify against them husband treatment. Get a grip. 

PS: living with men before marriage is not a “test run” you should be doing to feel safe. Why are you cultivating a shared life and home with a man you aren't sure you can be with for the rest of your life? Learn to use the endless new information about human psychology to better test your partners instead of living with men who don't marry you. 

This is an opinion piece. Thank you :)