He Block Me Cause I'm Big Mama

Latto's "Big Mama" is constantly blasting in my Beats. It's one of the most relatable songs I've heard in a while. It's also been trending on Tik Tok, much to my delight. On my FYP the song serves as a score for posts celebrating being verbally strict with men, often over a photo of Francine Smith (American Dad) dancing. My post for the trend, which currently has 70k views and 16k likes 🥸 is pictured below.

Today though, I came across and unfortunately forgot to save, a post stating something far more wise and self-aware than my "Big Mama" post. It read "When he, a grown man, blocks you." I've been outdone. It's actually very rare that someone blocks me, but on the two occasions that it's happened, I certainly felt like Big Mama. Like...those two 30 something year old men where so rocked by me that they had to hit block for their sanity? Mind you- I don't blow up ANYONE'S phone. If I know I wronged you, I might make a few attempts to grovel. Nothing crazy though, my pride keeps me reserved. I might text once if I really care, give it a week and try again if I loved you, maybe give you a call after 3 weeks if I was thinking it was naseeb. I'll never blow someone up in a way that warrants blocking though. To me, blocking is for someone who texts 3+ times a day, call over and over, and/or starts *67ing you. Blocking someone who is not moving like that it just an admission of big, out of controll feelings. Being blocked by a man as someone who isn't blowing up their phone is a compliment. It's how you know he's sick about his Big Mama. The last time I got blocked by I guy was because I gaslit him. He caught me clowning him publicly and I flat out said "nah that was another guy I talk to with the same name as you". He was furious when I said that bruv. He then said "Iman, I know it's about me because I was there for it. You're literally talking about me saying how much I love you while your new dude was calling on the car phone. You want me to believe that happened with another dude recently too?" To which I said "you find me so awful that you think you're the only man who would be sitting in my car saying he loves me?" He didn't like that one bit. I heard his breath quicken and I could hear his finger tapping the back of his phone angrily. He then said "Iman, you have one last chance to own up to this. I'm not a toy for you to play with! This isn't right." And I giggled at that. I know it was wrong to giggle at that, but I'm being honest with you, so I'm admitting that I did giggle. He hung up on me after that. I felt kinda bad a couple days later and decided to apologize. I couldn't though, because I'd been blocked. He unblocked me on his own a couple months later. He couldn't not speak to Big Mama.

I and thousands of other women, Big Mamas if you will, see being blocked by a man as a sort of...compliment 🙇🏽‍♀️. We see it as a testament to having emotionally power over men in a society where men so often emotionally overpower women. Men being cheaters, emotional manipulators, and having control of their emotions when women don't has been the narritive for literally centuries. This worked out because men usually had more access to money and power than women, making some women accepting of their indiscretions. Even now, many women are so desperate for male attention that they blindly trust men who clearly don't like or respect them because their self-worth is tied to being desired by men. I resent that and I want freedom for my sisters. Please note, I am no misandrist. I love men. I have wonderful men in my life that are the pinnacle of masculine excellence. They are the reason for my strict policies, steep expectations, and lack of care for male approval. The wonderful men and women who brought me up created a monster; a financially successful, educated, secure, and unbridled young woman who would rather be alone than annoyed. I'm no "strong independent woman" though. I call upon my father, uncles, and cousins at the drop of an inconvenience. I am so supported by my masculine team that I have endless power. Men can see this in me. Recently, my friend Shah, who recently opened a fabulous cafe in Brooklyn, harped on my father spoiling me. He went as far as to joke that he wants to be adopted by my father. When I walk in the room my energy screams "loving, adoring, capable father figures.". This upsets the power balance already. Most men prey on the failures of their peers to show up as fathers. They look to control women using their abandonment wounds, lack of examples for positive masculinity, and desire to feel fatherly love by any means necessary. Once they realize they are in the presence of someone they can easily manipulate, they're already taken down a notch. Since many men have actually never dated a girl with a father (I don't have stats on this, I just have been so many people's first fathered s/o) this is it for them. They're completely out of their comfort zone and they will begin spiraling almost immediately. Some though, keep it together longer than others.

Big Mamas are not afraid to lose a boytoy, so they don't hesitate to demand. I am usually pretty laid back...until you PMO. My father says I have knives in my tongue. Such drama. I understand his qualm though. I recently had to apologize to a city government official for how mean I was to him. I can be very mean. However, like a switch plucked from a tree, my vernacular is effective in creating positive change in unruly men. I am not stronger than men, I am not better supported by society, but by god, I am more emotionally competent, better read, and quicker witted. My words are my sword, my controlled facial expressions are my shield. If I were a man, I could fist fight another man to establish mutual respect. However, I am not a man, so respect must be established through a battle of wits rather than fists. A strong stance in disagreement will show you who respects you enough to either do better or walk out bloodied and bruised never to return, shameful. Those who choose to block you are letting you know that you hold power over them, but they respect you enough to admit they're not good enough. They respect Big Mama if you will.

Is any of this making sense? Or am I doing a big dose of Copium?