I Hate the SS Californian

Somehow, despite being a multitime history award winner, I am just now learning about the Carpathia. The ship that melted its own boilers in an unimaginable effort to reach the Titanic as quickly as possible while it sank. This ship was the first responder to the Titanic SOS. It was four hours away from the Titanic, it had a top speed of 14 knots, it had to navigate the same ice field that sank the Titanic, and the anticipated journey to it was supposed to be four hours. Yet every single person on the Carpathia worked to beat these odds. In order to get to the Titanic as quickly as possible they turned off all electricity and heat on the boat. To help the boat move faster and make room for Titanic passengers, Carpathia passengers started to dump their belongings off of the ship. This allowed the boat to reach a speed of 17 knots. The crew worked tirelessly to stop the engines from exploding while pushing the boat to this speed. Then they somehow managed to dodge all the ice to reach the Titanic. While all of this was happening the SS Californian was only 20 miles away. The Carpathia was 67 miles away. The SS Californian saw the distress signals from the Titanic and decided to ignore them. They came to the conclusion that the flares they kept sending off were celebratory! What the actual hell? Had they not been lazy, self-centered, and horrible; they could have been to the Titanic in an hour. It took 2 hours and 40 min for the Titanic to sink. They potentially could have saved almost everyone. After learning this today, I am sobbing. Overcome with dreadful realization that Man can be whittled down to these two ships. I am empathizing with a boat. Yes. The media has trained my mind to empathize with objects in this manner: “Cars”, “Thomas the Train”, “Jay Jay the Jet Plane”, etc. I am crying about a ship…and the people manning it. 

I think really, I feel so connected right because I feel so frustrated with so many people I once loved. I am heartbroken from their addiction to comfort, willingness to turn a blind eye, and ability to lie to themselves when clear distress signals are going off. Like very clear. Like verbally being told that something is wrong. I think if I were like that, I wouldn't be burdened by heartbreak from it. I think the real issue is that I have the same expectations of others that I do for myself. I expect myself to respond with fevor, commitment, and selfishness when someone is being harmed or in danger. So, I expect it of others. Many say to not have expectations of others, but I disagree with that. I think not having expectations is for those who fear being alone with themselves. For people so afraid to be alone that they'd rather be surrounded by people who treat them poorly. That doesn't work in times of need. To me, the company of a person like the SS Californian is worse than sinking alone at sea. The SS Californian created false hope for the people on the Titanic. That hope kept many on the ship in denial, unwilling to board the life boats. It created a collective delusion that help would arrive sooner than it did. So, it not only didn't come to help, it made the situation worse in its inaction by deluding the passengers about the gravity of the situation. It would have been better for it to just not be there at all. I guess that's how I feel about some people in my life. So, learning about this situation has been very emotional for me.